I taught my first class at the studio today! It went well over all, but there are definitely a few things I overlooked. First off, I forgot to tell everyone my name. Oops. Also I should have mentioned that it's totally ok to ask questions, and also to do only the poses that feel good. I probably could have done more assisting as well, but hopefully as I get to know students and get more comfortable that will happen naturally.
My biggest issue during the class was time. It felt so long! My home practice is usually around 45 minutes I'd reckon, so the hour and a half felt like ages. I definitely did not have enough excercises planned, or maybe went through them too quickly. I don't really like to spend too much time talking though, so I think the best solution for me is to plan more asanas. Which is kind of a lotta work! Phew! Two more classes to go this week...
Monday, July 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Kidney and Bladder Meridians
Yesterday I practiced a yoga sequence from Sarah Powers' book Insight Yoga, which relates yoga to Chinese concepts of energy and chi. She explains Asana in the context of yin and yang, yin being more passive, yang more active. The sequence I practiced for the kidneys and bladder consisted of yin poses, which are held stationary for 3-5 minutes. This idea appealed to me, because it supports a more reflective state of being.
I was also interested in the mental and emotional associations that correspond with the kidneys, and the similarities that are found in the lower chakra system. I have always felt a need to explore the lower chakras in particular, so I was also keen to observe the effect that kidney stimulating postures would have on my thoughts and mood. According to Powers, the kidneys house our essence energy, which she calls jing. If the kidney is out of balance the primary emotion is fear. It will also affect our will power, ambition, concentration, and energy levels. I immediately thought, "I need to replenish my kidneys, ASAP."
I found the sequence interesting and challenging. I placed my intention primarily on my thoughts, paying attention to what they were up to. Granted, in some of the poses my body took precedence because it was struggling a bit, especially in Half-Dragonfly Pose, (which is a modified seated forward bend). But when I found myself settled and comfortable, I could witness my thoughts and practice not reacting to them. The pattern that emerged was one of restlessness. The urge to come out of the pose was sometimes so strong it became a physical sensation. It was interesting to let the thoughts run their course, like a whining child, and not give into them. Because of course they rise and fall, like all thoughts. It was a valuable practice, both personally and as research for teaching.
I was also interested in the mental and emotional associations that correspond with the kidneys, and the similarities that are found in the lower chakra system. I have always felt a need to explore the lower chakras in particular, so I was also keen to observe the effect that kidney stimulating postures would have on my thoughts and mood. According to Powers, the kidneys house our essence energy, which she calls jing. If the kidney is out of balance the primary emotion is fear. It will also affect our will power, ambition, concentration, and energy levels. I immediately thought, "I need to replenish my kidneys, ASAP."
I found the sequence interesting and challenging. I placed my intention primarily on my thoughts, paying attention to what they were up to. Granted, in some of the poses my body took precedence because it was struggling a bit, especially in Half-Dragonfly Pose, (which is a modified seated forward bend). But when I found myself settled and comfortable, I could witness my thoughts and practice not reacting to them. The pattern that emerged was one of restlessness. The urge to come out of the pose was sometimes so strong it became a physical sensation. It was interesting to let the thoughts run their course, like a whining child, and not give into them. Because of course they rise and fall, like all thoughts. It was a valuable practice, both personally and as research for teaching.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Over-Assisting
After my yoga class this evening, I am starting to have some opinions about assisting. I've noticed there are different types of assists. Some teachers really focus on getting the alignment perfect in the posture, so they come along and try to push your body into that alignment. I am not a fan of this type of assist. It takes me out of the moment. It pushes my body into positions that feel unnatural and therefore not fun. It makes me tense and fatigued. It makes me have flashbacks to ballet class where I was constantly criticized and corrected. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I just feel yoga class is not the place for that. Seriously.
The type of assisting I love, is the supportive kind. If you have a partner supporting some of your weight so you can really relax and let go... how totally awesome is that? A really significant moment comes to mind that occurred when I was doing my teacher training. My teacher, (who incidentally advised me to avoid assisting too much, if at all), was supporting me in camel pose, (Utkatasana). I was hesitant to release my head back, so to make me feel safe, he stood behind me and placed his hands under my shoulders to support my upper back. With my weight supported like that, whooooosh, my chest and neck let go, and it was a revelation. The pose became totally new and exciting. And there was such a connection happening too. So nice.
The type of assisting I love, is the supportive kind. If you have a partner supporting some of your weight so you can really relax and let go... how totally awesome is that? A really significant moment comes to mind that occurred when I was doing my teacher training. My teacher, (who incidentally advised me to avoid assisting too much, if at all), was supporting me in camel pose, (Utkatasana). I was hesitant to release my head back, so to make me feel safe, he stood behind me and placed his hands under my shoulders to support my upper back. With my weight supported like that, whooooosh, my chest and neck let go, and it was a revelation. The pose became totally new and exciting. And there was such a connection happening too. So nice.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
It's All In The Hips
I just returned from yoga class. Something has been brewing in my hip joints for a while and I kept assuming it would go away soon, but alas, it has not. Child's pose has become uncomfortable for fuck sake, my favourite most comfy pose! In trying to understand this I have so far come up with two theories: either all those years of ballet have caught up with me OR I am in the worst shape of my life. I'm inclined to believe it's the latter. Despite my best intentions, (reading books about healthy eating, scheduling pilates sessions into my daybook, visulaizing myself practicing yoga daily), I've been taking shit care of myself. On my way home from yoga class I bought a bag of chocolate cookies and Nibs, and I haven't so much as done the pilates one-hundred since mid-winter.
It's not always like this. I go through periods where self-care is a priority. But that is certainly not the norm for me, and from what I can tell, it's the same situation for many of us humans. In one of her stand-up acts, Ellen Degeneres pointed out that it's kind of a joke that we go to yoga at all. I think she was referring to the fact that the modern human is always rushing around, and one hour a week of stillness isn't really gonna cut it. But I see it as a joke in a different way as well. When I look at the patterns of my own life, I see that taking good care of myself isn't really important to me. On a conscious level I think it is, because logically it should be. But clearly I'm fighting against some deep rooted nature, some inexplicable drive to self-destruction. Wasn't it Freud who said that we all desire to return the animate to the inanimate? That essentially, we all have a death wish?
Nevertheless, a part of me clearly wants to care. And maybe with time that part will grow stronger. It just feels so gross trying to fight yourself all the time, and I'm kind of thinking... fuck it. I feel like I should be producing and achieving... reveling in concrete things. Self-care doesn't really produce results the way finishing a painting does. There isn't much satisfaction in it, because the benefits are taken for granted. When I am this honest with myself I sure feel like a poser yoga teacher.
It's not always like this. I go through periods where self-care is a priority. But that is certainly not the norm for me, and from what I can tell, it's the same situation for many of us humans. In one of her stand-up acts, Ellen Degeneres pointed out that it's kind of a joke that we go to yoga at all. I think she was referring to the fact that the modern human is always rushing around, and one hour a week of stillness isn't really gonna cut it. But I see it as a joke in a different way as well. When I look at the patterns of my own life, I see that taking good care of myself isn't really important to me. On a conscious level I think it is, because logically it should be. But clearly I'm fighting against some deep rooted nature, some inexplicable drive to self-destruction. Wasn't it Freud who said that we all desire to return the animate to the inanimate? That essentially, we all have a death wish?
Nevertheless, a part of me clearly wants to care. And maybe with time that part will grow stronger. It just feels so gross trying to fight yourself all the time, and I'm kind of thinking... fuck it. I feel like I should be producing and achieving... reveling in concrete things. Self-care doesn't really produce results the way finishing a painting does. There isn't much satisfaction in it, because the benefits are taken for granted. When I am this honest with myself I sure feel like a poser yoga teacher.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Agh, my heart...
Well, my yoga practice today was crazy intense. I am actually a bit shaky right now because of all the weird stuff happening in my body. I started today with the humming bee breath, (one of my absolute faves), and that put me in a nice peaceful headspace, ready to bliss out and enjoy my stretching. After a little cat stretch I moved into child's pose only to experience this rather acute and uncomfortable sensation in my chest. It was so unexpected! I thought, "Hello, what the hell are you doing there?" So I obviously had to investigate further.
I continued my practice with loads of chest openers and some forward bends too. (The strange sensation filled my whole chest cavity but was most pronounced at my breastbone). At one point I was in a reclined spinal twist, focusing on my chest, trying not to resist the sensation. I managed to relax into the feeling for a moment, and as I did I was overcome with sadness and the tears came out. But almost immediately I lost my vulnerability and began resisting again, letting the tension back in, and feeling buffeted by the waves of my inexplicable emotions. It was similar to an experience I had a couple days ago with my g-spot. The stimulation was getting so intense, and as I began to relax it got more intense and what did I do? I resisted it. I couldn't let go. And then the moment was gone.
I can only describe the feeling as tension or blockage. It sometimes literally feels like the breath is being opposed by this weird energy in there. It's pretty clear there is something major happening in my heart chakra but I'm completely perplexed about it. Even now, there is a distinct heaviness there, like a weight. What is going on? An investigation is clearly called for. What else do I have all those books for?
I continued my practice with loads of chest openers and some forward bends too. (The strange sensation filled my whole chest cavity but was most pronounced at my breastbone). At one point I was in a reclined spinal twist, focusing on my chest, trying not to resist the sensation. I managed to relax into the feeling for a moment, and as I did I was overcome with sadness and the tears came out. But almost immediately I lost my vulnerability and began resisting again, letting the tension back in, and feeling buffeted by the waves of my inexplicable emotions. It was similar to an experience I had a couple days ago with my g-spot. The stimulation was getting so intense, and as I began to relax it got more intense and what did I do? I resisted it. I couldn't let go. And then the moment was gone.
I can only describe the feeling as tension or blockage. It sometimes literally feels like the breath is being opposed by this weird energy in there. It's pretty clear there is something major happening in my heart chakra but I'm completely perplexed about it. Even now, there is a distinct heaviness there, like a weight. What is going on? An investigation is clearly called for. What else do I have all those books for?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Tadasana - The Mountain
I found a great quote about tadasana in Swami Sivananda Radha's Hatha Yoga: The Hidden Language:
I love how Radha encourages us to view the posture as a symbol and a metaphor. (That is something you won't find on the Yoga Journal website). The quote above struck a chord with me because during my teacher's training it became clear that my intellectual mind was a significant barrier for me. I can view my intellect as the mountain, a force to be climbed and conquered, or I can view myself as the mountain, perservering and patient. I'm inclined to go for the latter based on the feeling I have when I'm praticing the posture. I feel like if mountains had personalities, they would be these steadfast, patient pillars, staying strong but never resisting change. When I stand in tadasana, I find search for these qualities in myself.
Physically the pose is interesting as well. I tried it with feet hip-width apart and also with feet together. I felt taller and more steady with my feet together, and my posture was better as well. I recorded a video of myself doing the pose, and I noticed that I lean forward a bit, and there's a slight curving forward of my pelvis, as if I'm in a slight back bend. This is something a teacher mentioned to me a couple weeks ago, but it doesn't really sink in until you see it! Video taping yourself is an excellent way to get an objective view at your posture, even better than a mirror.
At this point, trying to find my ideal posture is quite uncomfortable. When I change the way I stand, my body says "Hey! What are you doing?", and I have a bit of a stress reaction... the biggest indictaor of this is that I often feel a tightness in my chest. In tadasana I think I should begin exploring what parts of my body are okay to let go of and relax. I think I often assume I should be engaging every muscle somehow, but I doubt that's the case.
I think I'll revisit this pose next time. It's an important one, a literal foundation, so there's no need to rush it!
"The mountain is a symbol of the aspiration to transcend one's little self... The process of ascent is a spiritual pursuit toward a solitude in which the rational mind must surrender its dominance. All intellectual activity has to recede to allow the mind periodically to be in its original state."
I love how Radha encourages us to view the posture as a symbol and a metaphor. (That is something you won't find on the Yoga Journal website). The quote above struck a chord with me because during my teacher's training it became clear that my intellectual mind was a significant barrier for me. I can view my intellect as the mountain, a force to be climbed and conquered, or I can view myself as the mountain, perservering and patient. I'm inclined to go for the latter based on the feeling I have when I'm praticing the posture. I feel like if mountains had personalities, they would be these steadfast, patient pillars, staying strong but never resisting change. When I stand in tadasana, I find search for these qualities in myself.
Physically the pose is interesting as well. I tried it with feet hip-width apart and also with feet together. I felt taller and more steady with my feet together, and my posture was better as well. I recorded a video of myself doing the pose, and I noticed that I lean forward a bit, and there's a slight curving forward of my pelvis, as if I'm in a slight back bend. This is something a teacher mentioned to me a couple weeks ago, but it doesn't really sink in until you see it! Video taping yourself is an excellent way to get an objective view at your posture, even better than a mirror.
At this point, trying to find my ideal posture is quite uncomfortable. When I change the way I stand, my body says "Hey! What are you doing?", and I have a bit of a stress reaction... the biggest indictaor of this is that I often feel a tightness in my chest. In tadasana I think I should begin exploring what parts of my body are okay to let go of and relax. I think I often assume I should be engaging every muscle somehow, but I doubt that's the case.
I think I'll revisit this pose next time. It's an important one, a literal foundation, so there's no need to rush it!
Introduction and Intention
If all goes according to plan, I will be teaching yoga twice a week this coming Fall. In order to get myself into the appropriate headspace, I am starting this journal to document my thoughts and experiences as I investigate different postures. While doing my teacher's training, keeping a journal was an essential part of the learning experience, and a great way to practice communicating about yoga.
My goal is to explore several postures each week in detail. I think I'm going to use the Yoga Journal website as a jumping off point, and just work through the postures listed on their website. At this time I am also attending classes at the studio I will be teaching at, so I may also write about my experiences there.
My goal is to explore several postures each week in detail. I think I'm going to use the Yoga Journal website as a jumping off point, and just work through the postures listed on their website. At this time I am also attending classes at the studio I will be teaching at, so I may also write about my experiences there.
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